Sometimes there is some truth in that nagging voice. But I believe that women are wired to react emotionally, especially when the issue involves our kids, and so we fast-forward straight into guilt (“I should have/would have/didn’t mean to”) without stopping to think with our logical side.
When I am feeling mommy guilt, it helps me to pray first, asking God to forgive any sin in me, and asking for wisdom. Then, when my mind is clear enough, I’m learning to ask these questions:
- Exactly why I am feeling guilty?
- Would a truly objective observer say that I contributed to this situation?
- Is there something I could have done differently, or were my actions constrained by the situation?
- What will I do next time?
2 comments:
This is a great post! I know this is way past when you posted, but one thing I have started to ask myself is, "What would I tell someone else if they were in this situation? Would I judge them the way I am judging myself?" Usually the answer is no and I can think more logically when I pretend I am giving advice to a friend in the same situation I am in. :) It helps me to comfort myself a little.
I think as moms/women we tend to be great at giving advice, understanding, encouragement to others, but all of that wisdom goes out the window when we look at ourselves. Some of my best analysis comes from acting as though I were a different person asking me for help.
www.commontomoms.blogspot.com
Great point Rachel! It usually happens that I have the opportunity to help someone else with the same issue (for real) after I've been through a bout with mommy guilt... but thinking of myself in the third person is a great tip. Thanks!
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