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I can trace this taste for sugar back to my childhood, when I was given sweet desserts nearly every dinner-time, biscuits and treats for my school lunch-box, and pocket money to spend on sweets on the weekend. But even with all this, I still raided the pantry at night in search of sugar. :-(
This is not an issue I wanted my children to have to deal with, so when my first child was starting solids, I was determined that NO SUGAR would be permitted into his diet. My thinking was that if I could shape his tastes to exclude sugar, then he would be much less likely to over-indulge on sweets as an older child and an adult. I think I succeeded; his first taste of cake was on his second birthday, and his first ice-cream was after the age of 3. My other children have enjoyed sweet treats a little earlier than he did, but it is not a regular part of our family diet. Here’s how we did it:
- baby’s first dessert was Greek-style yoghurt. My children (now age 7, 5, and almost 3) still have this for dessert most nights.
- I made my own baby food from scratch; shop-bought food was considered 'take-away' and eaten only when necessary
- no cakes, biscuits, jelly, chocolate or other sweet treats until after age 2
- no sweet toppings - no honey or jams
- plain water to drink; no sweet drinks (even juice)
- fruit for snacks. I included two snacks a day from about 9-12 months on, when solids were fully established; and to this day I keep a full fruit bowl on the kitchen bench
- no eating sweets in front of the children (this one is really hard!)
- monitor, and if necessary, intercept treats from grandparents, in-laws, and friends. This was really tricky socially, and I got a lot of snide remarks and funny looks, especially at children’s birthday parties and playgroups. I was pretty rigid while my kids were under 2; after that age, I started to relax a little and allow them occasional treats.
What is your approach to children and sugar?
6 comments:
Another great post, Penny! I guess I haven't put as much thought into it as you, which I suppose I really should. My oldest's first sugar was her first birthday cake. She actually really did not like it so she only ate the first bite, which was mostly spit out. At 1.5 years old I allowed her to have jelly in a sandwich. About the same time the grandparents started getting her small treats for at their house. My youngest is 9 months and has not had any sugar, other than what naturally occurs in fruits etc. I am planning on letting her have a first birthday cake but other than that will try to limit sugar until age two or so. Great tips on how you do it!
I'm a sugar addict myself and it really is a constant battle. This is some good food for thought. Thanks :)
Quick question. Did the grandparents/aunts/uncles on either side give you a hard time about this? My in-laws and one sister has given me an extremely hard time about feeding my girls organic. If so, what did you say?
Ooooh, good question!!! Yes, my mom doesn't agree and it was hard in the beginning. That's one reason I started to relax after age 2 and allow them to eat the treats Grandma obviously wanted to give them.
Before then, I tried to ignore any comments, and it never went any further than that. I'm not sure what I would do otherwise?!? Perhaps it depends on how much friction it's truly causing in the family, eg is it preventing the families from getting together? Or is it directed only at you? Or is it sneaky attempts to give food to your kid(s)?
My in-laws on the other hand have been very supportive of all our family decisions, food included.
How do you handle your in-laws?
Nothing has prevented us from visiting or seeing the family.
Most remarks are directed towards me-- though my husband supports me feeding organically, if I didn't do it he wouldn't care either way and his family knows this.
My in laws make remarks in a "joking" manner but I don't see the humor in it ;)
My sister on the other hand tries to argue with me about the point of what I'm doing. She constantly brings up that her daughter was never fed organically and she is perfectly fine. My sister is easier for me to deal with because I have no problem "talking back" to her and expressing my reasons. I find it more difficult to do that with my in-laws.
Aside from making the comments, I know they "sneak" my oldest food I wouldn't let her eat. On two occasions we were at their house for dinner and afterward my daughter asked for chocolates (the first time) and ice cream (the second time). Both times I told her we didn't have any (which I didn't, I wasn't trying to lie to her). She told me, "Yes, it's right here" as she walked to the cupboard and freezer that it was in and pointed it right out. My father in law laughed and told my mother in law she had "been caught". Then my mother in law started making up excuses about how she had only given it to her one time.... blah blah blah. My MIL would definitely lie to make herself look better though. I also know she has taken my daughter out for fast food (ie McDonalds) which I would NEVER let me DD eat and she knows it. My DD has told me these things, that's how I know. I have talked to my MIL about my reasons why and while I'm talking to her she is very agreeable but then she does these things. I'm a very passive person when it comes to my in laws. My husband agrees about the fast food and has talked to her, too. He doesn't care much about the candy and snacks though.
Over the past weekend we visited my in laws after breakfast time and when we got there DD asked for some food for her stuffed cat. She was only playing but my FIL asked her if she wanted some ice cream. She of course said yes and I immediately said "No, it's too early, she just only ate breakfast an hour ago." He went and got her a bowl of ice cream anyway. I was chatting with my MIL and when I came out he was trying to give her the ice cream.
I feel so awkward in these situations. I know I'm the parent but I had already told him no and he didn't listen. I ended up finding my husband and asking him to say something but by that time she had eaten half the bowl. I guess I am slightly intimidated by my FIL and don't know what else to say. Any suggestions??
Hmmm, this is such a tricky situation! I feel for you.
I guess it comes down to how much value you place on peaceful relationship with your in-laws.
If you've tried to explain your position, but they haven't changed their behaviour, then I can only see 3 options:
1. ask your husband to talk with them, possibly negotiating on a list of 'allowed treats' which you are sort-of ok with them giving your kids
2. accept their actions in the name of peace, but try to limit the quantity or frequency of treats in some way
3. be willing to cause conflict in order to uphold your principles.
Is it possible to schedule meetings for regular meal times, so at least your kids get good food first before the treats come out?
Hi Lizz22 and Penny!
I wrote a post about my own struggles with sugar here: http://commontomoms.blogspot.com/2011/06/no-sugar-for-you.html
As for in-laws, mine don't give us trouble about the food we eat (or don't eat) with my daughter (we try to do a lot of the same things as you Penny)... But they do often ignore me other times. I have decided that in the future I need to try to leave my daughter alone with them (for an afternoon maybe?) and be VERY CLEAR about a few things that are very important to me (taking naps at certain time, making sure not to give foods that she is allergic to or excessive snacks, checking her for ticks if they go for a walk in the woods, etc). I've decided that if they don't follow through with them then I will tell them it makes it difficult for me to trust them and I won't be able to leave her alone with them if they choose to ignore my requests.
At the same time, I am also trying to relax a little and remember that grandparents typically do say "yes" to most things the kids ask for.
It is interesting though that so many people have the attitude that they can dismiss others' guidelines (or make fun of them) just because they are family... Doesn't quite make sense to me...
Thanks Penny and Rachel for the tips. I will have my husband try talking to them again. That's the most comfortable for me :)
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