Two approaches to potty training

Potty training. How do those words make you feel? Is that a groan I hear? :-)

I have been through this process twice now, with a boy and a girl, and am currently in the middle of it again with another boy. I hope that the things I’ve learned may be of some help to some of you!

First method:

• read all the current potty training literature
• decide to wait until the child is “ready”. Start training at 2 years 9 months when there are no indications that he will ever be ready, and you are sick of changing diapers for 2 children.
• go hard for a week, on your own, washing poop and pee out of underwear and clothing every day. One success for the week, which you know was an accident. Feel that the child has an attitude problem rather than an understanding issue, in spite of a significant language delay.
• get stressed, angry, and escalate consequences, even though you know this will not help you or the child
• give up for a month
• keep trying with different motivators for about 6 months. Poop and pee accidents continue daily.
• talk to a friend who suggests M&M food rewards as per dog training principles.
• start M&Ms with a few more successes. Continue for 2 months more. Poop and pee accidents continue every second day.
• at 3.5 years, decide enough is enough, and throw away diapers for night and day. Tell child that he will stop making messes on day X. put the potty chair in the bedroom for early morning, and put waterproof sheets on the bed. Mentally prepare for accidents in the bed.
• Be amazed by complete overnight success. Daytime pee accidents dwindle to 1 or 2 per week, completely trained in 2 months.

the end.

Second method:

Daytime training:

• start child between 12-18 months on potty chair inside bathtub, once a day, with books. First goal is for child to be comfortable sitting for 15 minutes. Child achieves this within a week. Many pee & poop successes in this time.
• Second goal is for child to sit twice a day, unsupervised.  Child achieves this within 2 weeks.
• Third goal is for child to sit after each meal, and increase number of successes. Continue doing this until child is 21 months. Be amazed by early signs of physical awareness (holding diaper when wet, telling mom, etc).
• Try underwear on days at home. Use whatever combination is least stressful, eg diapers or pullups when out, diapers for naps and bedtime, underwear only when you are able to devote 90% attention to child for the morning or afternoon.
• Move child to toilet when physically large enough (about two years). Gradually remove supervision and lengthen sitting time to 10-15mins to increase chances of success. Keep to routine. Do not expect child to initiate, but respond if he/she does.
• Continue to gradually teach skills, language and concepts - pulling clothing up and down, wet and dry, wiping, poop and pee, “tell mom”, etc.
• When child is ready to initiate, praise extensively, and help only as much as necessary.

Nighttime training:

• wait until child has physical capacity to sleep all night without wetting (approx between 3 -4 years).  Remove pjs pants, diapers, and underwear - bare bottom only in bed. Get child up for “dream pee” before you go to sleep. Expect accidents. Expect early morning wake-ups.
• When child is able to go from dream pee to morning without wetting, try skipping the dream pee. If child wets, continue DP for another 2 weeks, then try again.
• Continue until child is able to go from bedtime to morning without wetting.

the end.

What method are you using?