Who am I? Identity after children

I have heard many moms say lost their sense of self after their child was born, especially if they made the transition from working full-time to staying at home with the child full-time. It didn’t happen to me, but I can understand how easily it happens to many women.

Suddenly, any affirmation they had received from their previous employers, clients, and work-mates, disappeared; and they started a brand-new career with a huge learning curve, menial labour, long hours, 100% emotional engagement, overwhelming responsibility, and little positive feedback.

My top 10 frugal living tips

Every time I turn around, it seems someone has posted about the importance of frugal living, so I won’t repeat all that. Here are some things that our family does to stretch our family income, and (sometimes) help the environment:

• Cloth nappies (aka diapers)
• Slow cooking
• Bucket insert in kitchen sink to collect & re-use clean water
• Recycling cardboard packaging for childrens’ constructions
• Recycle paper for telephone notepads or childrens’ artwork
• Home-made and second-hand children’s clothing. I have not bought clothing for my daughter in about 2 years, and she has items in her closet that have never been worn! My second son has also inherited most of his clothing.
• Using rags for cleaning – I cut up my old cloth diaper squares into quarters, and use them for wiping any household dirt or dust. When dirty, they go into the wash with the cloth diapers
• Op-shopping (aka thrift shopping)
• Keeping chickens
• Home-made baked goodies

Have you become more frugal in the past 12 months? Please share!

What if it’s true…? Part 4: God will never leave us

Then...

He is here in the middle of the messy house.

He is here in the middle of the fighting screaming children

He is here in the middle of today's silent war between my husband and I.

He is here in the middle of my failure to get my best friend a present in time for her 40th birthday.

He is here in the middle of my stinking inner bog of pride, fear and blame.

In spite of all my failures, mistakes, sins, and short-comings, and the collective failures of the people around me, God is still present in our midst. His faithfulness endures forever. Selah.

Let's talk about mommy guilt: Part 2

Last week, I posted about mommy guilt, and how we need to learn to think logically, rather than emotionally, if we want to get free.

Sometimes there is some truth in that nagging voice. But I believe that women are wired to react emotionally, especially when the issue involves our kids, and so we fast-forward straight into guilt (“I should have/would have/didn’t mean to”) without stopping to think with our logical side.

When I am feeling mommy guilt, it helps me to pray first, asking God to forgive any sin in me, and asking for wisdom. Then, when my mind is clear enough, I’m learning to ask these questions:

Friends in need

During our recent time of financial stress, we have been greatly blessed by some wonderful friends.  We have been given gifts of money and store vouchers, both anonymous and named; encouragement through wise counsel and prayer; gifts of food; and constant concern and care from all who know our trouble.

Healing Autism with Food?????

I’ve just spent the past week reading up about the GAPS diet, which I first heard about here. The author, Dr Natasha Campbell-McBride, has impressive credentials: she holds a degree in medicine and post-graduate degrees in neurology and human nutrition; she has extensive clinical experience in treating adults and children with learning disorders; and she is also the mother of a son who was diagnosed with autism at 3.

The fundamentals of the diet are fairly straightforward, if a little unusual from the mainstream perspective:

• Animal products including fish, meats and fats, home-made meat stocks, soups and bone broths, eggs, ghee and butter, stews and casseroles
• Pro-biotics
• Vegetable juices, cooked and raw vegetables
• Fermented foods such as yoghurt and kefir, sauerkraut, or other fermented vegetables
• Organic nut butters

The author describes a systematic method to introduce the various foods into the diet (Introduction Diet), along with a longer-term maintenance diet (Full GAPS diet).

The startling thing about the diet is not the food, though. It is the author’s claim that this diet is an effective and appropriate treatment for autism, ADHD, dyslexia, dyspraxia, depression, and schizophrenia.

Mel Hayde: Terrific Toddlers

I first read this book following the birth of my second child, when I realised I was struggling with the behaviour of my eldest (who was 2.5 years at the time). I read the 101 pages within an hour, but it was a life-changing hour for my toddler and I.

Let's talk about mommy guilt: Part 1

Hands up all of you who have heard a voice in your head which criticises every decision you make as a mother? Which tells you moments after you act, that you should have done the opposite? Which tells you that any mistake you make as a mom will have eternal and fatal consequences?

I know I’m not alone.

Update: early to bed, early to rise…

I have a vision of myself waking early enough in the morning so that I can spend time with my God in prayer and worship, soaking in his love, before any of the necessary activity starts for the day.

Well, I’m not quite where I want to be. Yet.

10 reasons to keep hens:

• Eggs
• Daily dose of sunshine while checking for eggs
• Kids’ pets
• Green recycling of food scraps
• insect control
• weed control
• Lawn aeration
• Manure
• compost starter
• talking point with visitors

bonus reason: chicken for dinner (if you’re desperate)

What if it’s true….? Part 3: God loves us

God promises us that he loves us. Forever.  And because of his great love, he promises to:

• provide for us
• heal us
• set us free
• bless us          
• change us to be like Jesus
• give us abundant and everlasting life

and too many more precious promises in Scripture to list them all here.

But. 

When would you feel confident sending your son alone into a men’s public restroom?

My son has just turned seven, and I am not comfortable sending him into the men’s restroom alone. But I feel he’s nearly too old to go into the ladies’ with me and my little ones.

What preparation would you do with your son to ensure he knows how to stay safe and remember good hygiene? Am I being a little paranoid about this?

Help please!

Financial fear

During the past few months, our family has had very little income, and we have been stretching the last of our savings. Last week, my husband has found employment again, with a good prospect of further work to come, and I am thankful beyond words for God's timely provision.

I thought it would be helpful to open the floor to discuss the fear that comes when we realise that that we are at the point of being no longer able to cover our financial commitments.

Have you ever been at this point? How do you cope with unemployment? Or with the fear that drags your heart down in spite of your best efforts to remain hopeful?

How to budget on a variable and irregular income: Part 2

Last week, I looked at creating a budget on a variable and irregular income. If you missed it, go here and catch up. I’ll wait! 

Now that we’re on the same page, let’s continue with more tips for managing a variable and irregular income:

 

What if it’s true….? Part 2: God delights in those who fear him (Ps 147:11)

What if God truly is not like me?
What if his thoughts will never be like mine?
What if the only way he can reveal himself to me is when I choose to humble myself before him?
What if I can only be fruitful and useful when I recognise I am a branch, not a Vine?

What if I was so conscious of God’s honour that I chose to please him, rather than myself, in every waking moment?

Do you fear God like this? How would your actions change if you did?

J.R.R. Tolkien: The Silmarillion

This book cannot be described simply.  It is the author’s life-work, and contains the millennia of history and mythology, verse and prose, tragedy and epic fantasy, which form the background to The Lord of the Rings cycle and The Hobbit. 

Anger in parenting

Last week, I touched on anger in parenting in my review of Turansky & Miller’s book “Good and Angry”. 

It made me think back to the year following my second child’s birth.  I did not cope very well with the normal parenting stresses during this phase – toilet training, developmental leaps, napping issues, tantrums, speech delay, and starting kindy (Australian preschool). In fact, I yelled daily at my children.

How to become a work from home mom: part 2

A while back, I posed this question, and it seems there’s a lot of you who would like to know the answer too.

Personally, I’m looking for inspiration. Others may need advice in areas such as marketing, financials, productivity, or balancing child-care and work at home.  So I thought it would be helpful to post a collection of links of articles this subject.  Please let us all know if this helps you on your journey to working from home!

(Warning: the language in some of these articles is colourful - for mature adults only).

Why I loved my slow-cooker

My slow-cooker just died yesterday. It developed a fatal electrical fault which tripped out the house power. This is the second slower cooker to die this way in less than 2 years, and I am a little annoyed.