Time Management for Busy Moms 5: Starting School (Or Why Did I Think Getting Out With Babies Was Hard?!?)

Image source

I wish I could tell you that I had this phase of life under control, but that would be a complete lie!!!!

However, there are some things I’ve learned that would have made my life easier when my eldest first started full-time school (for non-West Aussie readers, Pre-Primary here is an optional year of full-time schooling, following Kindergarten, for children who will turn 5 before June 30. The school year runs from February to December).

Note: I have learned most of the following lessons the hard way!

Lesson 1: Know the Route

Discover and test the best route to school, and how long it will take at the correct hour, before the first day.

Lesson 2: Know your child.

Does he or she handle transitions well? If not, then allow plenty of time for the tasks required before you leave, and for school drop-off. Practise the routine plenty of times before the big day so the child becomes comfortable before the added stress of starting school. Talk, talk, and talk again about what will happen.

Is your child excitable? Allow some time in your schedule for some quiet independent play before you leave for school.

Lesson 3: Review Your Schedule

Review your family schedule to include school drop-off and pick-up. (See details following).

Lesson 4: Build In Free Time

Allow some free time in your schedule for unforeseen circumstances and/or play before you have to leave for school.

Lesson 5: Visual Aids

When you have a morning routine you are reasonably happy with, determine which tasks (if any) you require your child(ren) to perform independently. Consider whether visual aids (picture chore cards, sticker charts, etc) will be of help. Consider whether you can work on these tasks before school term starts to increase his or her competence.

Lesson 6: Avoid Teaching New Skills During Term

Don’t attempt to teach new skills or chores during term time, especially during the before-school time-slot. Use the school holidays instead.   Look out for my up-coming post on Chore Training for School-Aged Children where I will cover this in more detail.

Lesson 7: Consistent Morning Start Time

Don’t change your morning start time too drastically between week days and week ends, or between school term and holidays. A day or two of sleep-ins are wonderfully refreshing, but allowing a sleep-in habit to develop will cause problems later.

Lesson 8: Separate Infant Feeds from Breakfast

Separate feed times for infants from breakfast for the other child(ren) if at all possible.

Lesson 9: Clashes Will Happen

If you have an infant as well as a school-aged child, there will be times when the infant will miss the optimal nap window. They may not nap well, or at all, as a result. There may be lots of crying. This phase will not last forever, but do ask for help if you or the infant needs a break.

Lesson 10: The Beeper is Your Friend

Use the beeper as much as you need to keep everyone moving.  Enough said. 

Lesson 11: Discipline Will Be Required

My children do not turn into cherubs once school term starts. When we are under time pressure, my children often react by misbehaving. I find it is crucial to think and pray about good discipline strategies for known character issues at a separate time, in order to respond calmly when misbehaviour occurs. Without prayer, intentional patience, and preparation, it is almost impossible to discipline well.

Scheduling

Note: I'm assuming that you have some kind of routine or schedule in place already. If not, you may wish to read one or more of the other posts in this series first:
Time Management For Busy Moms Part 1: Why?
Part 2: First Baby
Part 3: Nap Transitions
Part 4: Second Baby (or: Ahhhh!!! TWO!!!! What was I Thinking?!?)

Now, on to the interesting part!

• Dig out your trusty spreadsheet (or paper and pen). You will need columns for yourself and each of your children, and rows representing 30 minute or even 15 minute intervals.
• Block out the nap times, meal times, self-care times, and fixed activities for yourself and the older child(ren). (Exclude infants for now).
• Block out the travel times to and from school. Allow extra time for unforeseen circumstances (eg road closures, traffic problems).
• Focus on the morning routine (before school). What tasks are required to get your child ready for school? How long will these tasks take? Will he or she require your help? What will your other children do while you are busy? What do the other children need to do before you leave for school? Do they require your help? It may help to write and re-write this routine multiple times, using 5-minute blocks, before you are happy with the flow. Allow a 10-15 minute block of ‘free’ time at the end of your morning routine before you must leave for school.
• Do you have one or more infants? Review their schedule against the morning routine of the other child(ren). As you did when creating a schedule for two children, work out the best morning feed time(s), allowing for your other responsibilities. Assess the result. Are you required to be in two places at once? Try a few different start times for the infant(s) to see if the combination works any better (Excel tip: use the ‘insert row’ or ‘delete row’ menu commands to quickly move the infant schedule). Keep tweaking the infant schedule until you have the best fit you can.
• Next, focus on the sleeping and eating needs of your other children (if any). Does your schedule allow for optimal nap times and/or feedings? If not, review the schedule again. Will a different start time for these child(ren) will allow a better fit? If not, and you foresee a serious clash, what are your alternatives? Could you fit in a drive, or a walk with the carrier or stroller, to allow a nap? Could you feed the baby somewhere close to school after drop-off? Could you car-pool or use the bus some days of the week to give your younger child(ren) a break from the routine?
• Next, block in time for your home duties.
• If you have other children, focus on their other needs. Consider whether you wish to involve them for chore training, and mark in suitable times for this to occur. Does your schedule allow for some one-on-one time with each child? Do you wish to include learning activities? Is there time allowed to develop gross motor, fine motor, independent play, and/or social skills? If not, perhaps you could alternate days or weeks where you focus on a single skill in a specific timeslot?
• Focus on the afternoon routine (after school). Does your school-aged child need quiet time before they are able to function well at home? Do they need time to discuss the day with an adult? Do they need to complete chores or homework? Do they need physical activity to work out the fidgets? Do they need a snack? If you have younger children, what are their needs? As you did for the morning, it may help to write and re-write this routine multiple times, using 5-minute blocks, before you are happy with the flow.
• Next, consider any existing outside activities. Will they fit into your schedule as they are, or do you need to consider shifting them to alternative days, or dropping them altogether? Discuss this with your spouse.
• Think about your evening routine. Do you need to make any changes to suit the needs of your school-aged child? For example, my eldest has a later bedtime than the other two, and is allowed some free reading time. I introduced this when he was aged 6.5 years, when his normal early waking (5.30am) became extreme (4.30am to 5am), indicating reduced sleep needs. We have also tweaked the evening family devotions many times to better meet the family’s changing needs.

As before, I have assumed for this post that you are the sole care-taker, with a working spouse. However, if you have help during the day from relatives, paid carers, or others, it is easy to allocate them a task if your starting point is this basic schedule, and you will be confident that you can manage if for some reason the help is not available. However, if you block that help into your schedule, it becomes harder to adjust if circumstances change.

Finally, a note to the weary: it is normal, during school term, to feel as if the routine is a grind that will never end. It is normal, during holidays, to long for a return to the routine of term. It is normal to feel excited, anxious, emotional, and even depressed when your oldest child starts full-time school. However, if you are not coping, don’t ignore or bury your feelings; talk about it and seek help.