Chore Training for Preschoolers

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I started this series by outlining why and how I start chore training for toddlers. Today, I am looking at continuing chore training for preschoolers: children age 3-5. 

While chore training for toddlers is about introducing the tasks in a positive way, chore training for the preschoolers is about building competency, independence, and self-discipline. 

Competency

In this age group, I focus on helping the child to become skilled at the task. The process is not rocket science - I do this by repetition, and by gradually handing over more control to the child, while remaining available to help. 

For example, I start my children helping to unpack the dishwasher around 2.5.  At that age they are permitted only to handle the plastic ware.  Around age 3, or when they are confident with the unbreakables, and they know where most of the high-use items are stored, then I allow them to take single items of crockery from the dishwasher to the appropriate cupboard.  I monitor them closely to ensure that they carry the item at a safe angle and height, with two hands, and at a safe pace (my children like to run when they help!).  Then I help them stack that item safely in the cupboard. 

With time and repetition, they become more competent and reliable at the task, and my help and prompting is required less and less. 

Note to self: this is a process! Don’t get impatient or angry when accidents happen, but remember that children need to make mistakes if they are to learn.

Independence

Once a child becomes competent at a task, I allow them to do the task independently. This is when the child becomes a true help in the home and it is wonderful to see the child’s beaming face when I congratulate them on completing a task ‘all by themselves’ and praise them for being such a great help to mom!

Self-Discipline

Along with all the positives of growing self-esteem and responsibility, I have found that unfortunately, this is the age at when my kids start to protest doing chores. This resistance is displayed in a few different ways:

• a blatant ‘No!’
• delaying tactics
• whining, complaining, or arguing
• stopping before the task is complete

Of course, chores are not the only area of life where resistance is displayed at this age! But chores, if included in a daily or weekly routine, provide a wonderful opportunity for consistent, loving, firm discipline, which is the necessary foundation for self-discipline in the child.

Sample Chores for Preschoolers

These are some of the chores that I have worked with my preschool-aged kids to become competent and independent with:

• dishwasher unpacking (NB: I purposely rearranged my kitchen storage to enable the children to pack away most crockery and plastic ware. Only glassware, mugs, and sharps are out of reach).
• washing dirty dishes in the sink (this was necessary when our dishwasher was broken, but I didn’t attempt to start this until the child was at least 4).
• setting the table for a meal
• loading the washer with dirty laundry
• putting their own clean laundry away in their rooms (except hanging items, which I do until they are tall enough)
• sweeping the floor (age 4 and above)
• general tidying. This is an excellent chore to teach a child to notice *everything* that is out of place, and to keep going until the task is complete.
• collecting eggs from the nesting boxes (age 4.5 and above)
• clean up dog poop in the yard (age 4.5 and above)

These are some chores that are commonly suggested, which I have decided NOT to introduce at this age:

• making the bed - our children’s beds are simply dressed with an under-sheet and a doona. However, these are heavy and large and awkward for a child to lift and manoeuvre. I am happy to make the bed myself, and only require the child to ensure that the bedding remains on the bed.
• clearing the table and/or wiping table mats - I have found that my kids at this age are not capable of doing a respectable job of cleaning the table, and that accidents with half-full cereal bowls are common and unpleasant to deal with. I prefer to do this job myself until the child is 5 or older.

What chores do you expect your preschooler to do? What issues have you faced in chore training at this age?

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Stay tuned for the series final post on chore training for school-age children!