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The part of parenting I love best is discovering everything that makes my child special and unique - their gifts, quirks, temperament, and personality.
I love comparing my children at specific ages, because it highlights how different they are. I love to stare at their faces when they are sitting or playing together, because I see how similar they are. I love to read about personality, developmental stages, sensory processing, love languages, and the like, because it helps me understand and value how uniquely each child is put together.
The longer I am a parent, the more value I place on knowing my child in order to parent that child well. But I am coming to understand that knowing myself is equally important.
The better I understand my strengths, the more I will utilise them in my parenting and compensate for the corresponding weakness. For example, I am a good listener, and I continually strive to be more 'present' with my children. However, I am becoming aware that I need to compensate for my weakness in assertiveness and conflict management in order to be a better parent.
The better I understand my personal preferences, the more aware I am of how my parenting decisions are influenced by subjective criteria, and the more likely I am to consider alternative points of view. For example, I like routine and order, so I implement schedules to manage our family’s time, and make the effort to maintain these over time. However, I now understand that this preference is NOT The Way It Should Be Done, but rather, the way that works best for us.
The better I know my weaknesses and temptations, the more aware I am of potential triggers in our daily life. When I become aware of triggers, I am able to avoid or manage these situations and relationships better. The more aware of my weaknesses I become, the more I am humbled to ask for God’s help.
Do you place a high value on knowing yourself, in addition to knowing your child? In what ways does this knowledge impact your parenting?
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