Two approaches to potty training

Potty training. How do those words make you feel? Is that a groan I hear? :-)

I have been through this process twice now, with a boy and a girl, and am currently in the middle of it again with another boy. I hope that the things I’ve learned may be of some help to some of you!

First method:

• read all the current potty training literature
• decide to wait until the child is “ready”. Start training at 2 years 9 months when there are no indications that he will ever be ready, and you are sick of changing diapers for 2 children.
• go hard for a week, on your own, washing poop and pee out of underwear and clothing every day. One success for the week, which you know was an accident. Feel that the child has an attitude problem rather than an understanding issue, in spite of a significant language delay.
• get stressed, angry, and escalate consequences, even though you know this will not help you or the child
• give up for a month
• keep trying with different motivators for about 6 months. Poop and pee accidents continue daily.
• talk to a friend who suggests M&M food rewards as per dog training principles.
• start M&Ms with a few more successes. Continue for 2 months more. Poop and pee accidents continue every second day.
• at 3.5 years, decide enough is enough, and throw away diapers for night and day. Tell child that he will stop making messes on day X. put the potty chair in the bedroom for early morning, and put waterproof sheets on the bed. Mentally prepare for accidents in the bed.
• Be amazed by complete overnight success. Daytime pee accidents dwindle to 1 or 2 per week, completely trained in 2 months.

the end.

Second method:

Daytime training:

• start child between 12-18 months on potty chair inside bathtub, once a day, with books. First goal is for child to be comfortable sitting for 15 minutes. Child achieves this within a week. Many pee & poop successes in this time.
• Second goal is for child to sit twice a day, unsupervised.  Child achieves this within 2 weeks.
• Third goal is for child to sit after each meal, and increase number of successes. Continue doing this until child is 21 months. Be amazed by early signs of physical awareness (holding diaper when wet, telling mom, etc).
• Try underwear on days at home. Use whatever combination is least stressful, eg diapers or pullups when out, diapers for naps and bedtime, underwear only when you are able to devote 90% attention to child for the morning or afternoon.
• Move child to toilet when physically large enough (about two years). Gradually remove supervision and lengthen sitting time to 10-15mins to increase chances of success. Keep to routine. Do not expect child to initiate, but respond if he/she does.
• Continue to gradually teach skills, language and concepts - pulling clothing up and down, wet and dry, wiping, poop and pee, “tell mom”, etc.
• When child is ready to initiate, praise extensively, and help only as much as necessary.

Nighttime training:

• wait until child has physical capacity to sleep all night without wetting (approx between 3 -4 years).  Remove pjs pants, diapers, and underwear - bare bottom only in bed. Get child up for “dream pee” before you go to sleep. Expect accidents. Expect early morning wake-ups.
• When child is able to go from dream pee to morning without wetting, try skipping the dream pee. If child wets, continue DP for another 2 weeks, then try again.
• Continue until child is able to go from bedtime to morning without wetting.

the end.

What method are you using?

Speaking to friends about Jesus

Some of my friends know Jesus. Others think they know him, but they only know about him. Others don’t know him. Others don’t want to know him.

I am not a person who finds it easy or natural to share spiritual things with my friends, even those who I know are devoted Christians. But I also know that Jesus commands me to make disciples (Matthew 28:19), and to tell others what he has done for me. (Luke 12:8-9, 1 Peter 3:15).  So regardless of how I feel, I know I must speak when the time is right.

I have had the thrill of bringing one friend closer to Jesus recently through a shared love of books - I took the risk of sharing Christian novels with her, which opened the door for discussion about matters which had been closed off long ago. Other friends who are on my heart have not yet given any indication that they wish to speak about these things.

Do you prepare yourself to speak with friends about spiritual matters? Have you had the opportunity? If so, how did it go, and is there anything you would say differently next time?

What's in your fridge?

I have 2 fridges - one small, the other smaller :-). So for this exercise, I’m pretending that I have everything inside one large fridge. Also, Tuesday is the day I go grocery shopping, so I’m going to list out what I have in my fridge when it’s full, not when it’s empty (like today). So here’s what I normally have:

Mel Hayde: Terrific Toddlers 2: Building Happy, Healthy Hearts!

This book continues on where Terrific Toddlers (One) ended. It is written for parents who have implemented a flexible routine as outlined in TT1, and are wondering ‘what next?’. The book is based on Christian principles, and includes Scripture references following each chapter, but the language is easily accessible by unchurched and non-Christian families.

In Mel’s own words, TT2 “aims to give you just a few ideas on how to move to the next and most enjoyable part of parenting. Building happy, healthy hearts.” (TT2, Introduction).  

Getting to know you: returning to work after children

I’d love to hear your stories about returning to work after your children were born.

What influenced your decision to return to work?
Did you question your decision?
What was the deciding factor for you?
How did you feel after you were committed to this path?

School holidays routine

We are on day 3 of school hols right now, and I have mixed feelings. It's wonderful to have the freedom to stay home each day; but it's not so wonderful dealing with the non-stop demand for attention by my school-age child in addition to the needs of the younger two.

An altar to God my Provider

I want to build an altar to God with my words tonight.

Listening to a friend talk about their family’s long-awaited financial prosperity, I had an ‘a-ha’ moment. I realised two things: first, that although we do not have the income or ‘secure’ employment of my friend’s family, God has been faithful to provide for everything we needed, at the time we most desperately needed it; and second, my fear was gone. I was able to listen to her joy without envy.

Tonight I am Ruth, who has found favour with Boaz in her time of great need.