Ames & Ilg: Your X-Year-Old (series)

OK, well maybe it's not quite the end for this blog... I just had to post a review of these books. :-)

If you ever want reassurance about your child's behaviour at a specific age, or to gain detailed knowledge of what parenting challenges you are likely to face in the future, head to this 1980s Gesell Institute series by Louise Bates Ames and Frances Ilg. 


I own the Kindle versions of the Three year old, the Seven year old, and the Eight year old volumes, and so far, the descriptions of attitude and behaviour at these ages have been spot-on.

For example:
"It may be hard for you to imagine that, only minutes before, you and he may have been locked in mortal combat about whether he would or would not eat his lunch. If he wants to, this child can be a real joy and delight-at least for brief periods." (Your Three Year Old, p9).

A key theory running through the series is that a child passes through alternating states equilibrium and dis-equilibrium at various ages which can be generally predicted. Ages 18 months, 2.5 years, and 3.5 years are in dis-equilibrium, demonstrated in emotional insecurity, anxiety, physical regression of various kinds, and inconsistency. Ages 2 years, 3 years, and 4 years, on the other hand, are classed as ages of equilibrium, demonstrated in emotional security and physical confidence, and relative consistency. 

The authors are very specific in describing changes which are common at each age, and alert parents to challenges common to the age group.

Each volume contains information about the child's mind, interactions with other children, parenting techniques for managing challenges, suggestions for a successful birthday party, help with common daily routines (meals, ablutions, dressing, etc), and real-life stories, and much more. 

I highly recommend this series for parents who need information about common developmental changes, and who are willing to overlook some of the dated assumptions (working dad, stay-at-home mom, for example).  I found these books to be most helpful in regard to my oldest child, with whom every stage is a first for us both!