I’ve posted before about how resentment can affect me in my role as a stay-at-home mom. I have found that this is also a trap I fall into very easily in my relationship with my husband. All it takes is a small thought to cross my mind “why should he get to do ___ while I have to do ___” (fill the blanks with any activities you care to name). Immediately, I go into full-blown envy and resentment, which plays out through evaded eye-contact, hunched shoulders, and silent treatment.
I am extremely poor at stopping this poisonous train of thought. But sometimes I get it right, and here’s what I’ve found that helps:
I am extremely poor at stopping this poisonous train of thought. But sometimes I get it right, and here’s what I’ve found that helps:
- Pay attention to what I’m thinking; if I can admit to myself that my thoughts are ugly, then I am ready to take steps to change.
- Don’t attempt to negotiate with my husband in the heat of the moment, but talk about it afterwards in peace and quiet.
- Honesty and humour – if I can laugh at myself and my weakness, it clears the air.
- Turn on worship music
Have you ever found yourself caught in the trap of resentment at your spouse? What do you find helps you get free?
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