5 Top Communication Traps



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One of the aspects of being a parent that I find extremely frustrating is communication failure.  It drives me nuts when my child(ren) do not hear, do not acknowledge, or do not respond to my words.  Sometimes the failure is the child's lack of obedience.  However, far more often, the failure occurs on my part.

Here are my five top traps that create communication failure:
1. talking to a child before we have eye contact
2. not waiting for silence before speaking
3. responding to distractions and interruptions during a conversation
4. failing to require a response from the child
5. failing to check that the child understands

I will give you a classic example that has happened more than once in my home:  I am doing a task in one room, and child A is in another room.  Child A calls out to me about a problem. I call the child's name, then immediately start issuing instructions (traps 1 and 2).  Child B enters my room and starts talking to me, and I respond (trap 3). I then continue on with my tasks (traps 4 and 5). The result is that 10 minutes later, or whenever I realise I haven't heard from child A for a while, I go to find him or her, and realise that there has been a communication failure.   

These are the changes I need to make to the above scenario:

• require child A to come to me before starting a conversation
• ensure that child A has time to finish speaking before I respond
• require child B to be silent while I or child A are talking
• ensure child A understands me, and can repeat my words back to me.

What communication traps do you fall into?  How would you prefer to handle these?