Ginger Plowman: Don’t Make Me Count to Three!

At the time I found this book, I was desperate for some practical advice on how to use scripture in day-to-day discipline, particularly with my eldest child.

I knew I needed a model - a mom whose values and beliefs were similar to mine, who could show me how to do what I knew needed to be done.

Getting to know you: childcare choices

I’d love to hear your stories about the type and amount of paid childcare you use (if any). 

Were your choices limited by finances, location, availability of providers, or any other factor?
Was your choice influenced by your personal beliefs and values? If so, how?
Did you anticipate any issues in transitioning your child into care?
Did your child experience any issues in transition?

Asking for Help: Part 1

Asking for help is something that I am only just learning to do. 

When I got married at the advanced age of 30, I was astonished to discover that my dear husband couldn’t and didn’t want to read my mind. Of course, this caused much resentment and emotional pain for years, until I started following his exasperated requests to ask him for what I wanted.  When I started doing this, I was astonished to discover that it actually reduced quite a bit of the emotional upheaval I had been putting myself through.

Monitoring Cashflow

During a chat on the phone with a friend recently, I happened to mention that I was glad she called, because I could take a break from the paperwork. She was astounded, and pitying, when she discovered that I meant I was reconciling our bank accounts with our expense receipts, recording our future bills as they arrive, and ensuring that we had sufficient cashflow to cover our bills for the next few weeks.

What if it's true...? Part 6: God heals us

If you feel anger rising up at these words, if the bitter thought of 'I tried believing for healing, and it didn't work' creeps in, please don't turn away just yet.  Could it be that every time hope was crushed, every time prayer was seemingly unanswered, every time someone failed to get well, that God was pleading with us to come back to his Word and learn who is to truly to blame, and what we need to do to experience victory?

Could it be that we would see healing for ourselves and our loved ones...

Two approaches to potty training

Potty training. How do those words make you feel? Is that a groan I hear? :-)

I have been through this process twice now, with a boy and a girl, and am currently in the middle of it again with another boy. I hope that the things I’ve learned may be of some help to some of you!

First method:

• read all the current potty training literature
• decide to wait until the child is “ready”. Start training at 2 years 9 months when there are no indications that he will ever be ready, and you are sick of changing diapers for 2 children.
• go hard for a week, on your own, washing poop and pee out of underwear and clothing every day. One success for the week, which you know was an accident. Feel that the child has an attitude problem rather than an understanding issue, in spite of a significant language delay.
• get stressed, angry, and escalate consequences, even though you know this will not help you or the child
• give up for a month
• keep trying with different motivators for about 6 months. Poop and pee accidents continue daily.
• talk to a friend who suggests M&M food rewards as per dog training principles.
• start M&Ms with a few more successes. Continue for 2 months more. Poop and pee accidents continue every second day.
• at 3.5 years, decide enough is enough, and throw away diapers for night and day. Tell child that he will stop making messes on day X. put the potty chair in the bedroom for early morning, and put waterproof sheets on the bed. Mentally prepare for accidents in the bed.
• Be amazed by complete overnight success. Daytime pee accidents dwindle to 1 or 2 per week, completely trained in 2 months.

the end.

Second method:

Daytime training:

• start child between 12-18 months on potty chair inside bathtub, once a day, with books. First goal is for child to be comfortable sitting for 15 minutes. Child achieves this within a week. Many pee & poop successes in this time.
• Second goal is for child to sit twice a day, unsupervised.  Child achieves this within 2 weeks.
• Third goal is for child to sit after each meal, and increase number of successes. Continue doing this until child is 21 months. Be amazed by early signs of physical awareness (holding diaper when wet, telling mom, etc).
• Try underwear on days at home. Use whatever combination is least stressful, eg diapers or pullups when out, diapers for naps and bedtime, underwear only when you are able to devote 90% attention to child for the morning or afternoon.
• Move child to toilet when physically large enough (about two years). Gradually remove supervision and lengthen sitting time to 10-15mins to increase chances of success. Keep to routine. Do not expect child to initiate, but respond if he/she does.
• Continue to gradually teach skills, language and concepts - pulling clothing up and down, wet and dry, wiping, poop and pee, “tell mom”, etc.
• When child is ready to initiate, praise extensively, and help only as much as necessary.

Nighttime training:

• wait until child has physical capacity to sleep all night without wetting (approx between 3 -4 years).  Remove pjs pants, diapers, and underwear - bare bottom only in bed. Get child up for “dream pee” before you go to sleep. Expect accidents. Expect early morning wake-ups.
• When child is able to go from dream pee to morning without wetting, try skipping the dream pee. If child wets, continue DP for another 2 weeks, then try again.
• Continue until child is able to go from bedtime to morning without wetting.

the end.

What method are you using?

Speaking to friends about Jesus

Some of my friends know Jesus. Others think they know him, but they only know about him. Others don’t know him. Others don’t want to know him.

I am not a person who finds it easy or natural to share spiritual things with my friends, even those who I know are devoted Christians. But I also know that Jesus commands me to make disciples (Matthew 28:19), and to tell others what he has done for me. (Luke 12:8-9, 1 Peter 3:15).  So regardless of how I feel, I know I must speak when the time is right.

I have had the thrill of bringing one friend closer to Jesus recently through a shared love of books - I took the risk of sharing Christian novels with her, which opened the door for discussion about matters which had been closed off long ago. Other friends who are on my heart have not yet given any indication that they wish to speak about these things.

Do you prepare yourself to speak with friends about spiritual matters? Have you had the opportunity? If so, how did it go, and is there anything you would say differently next time?